No man - regardless of his physique - looks good in a Speedo. If you're proud of what you've got, then why cram it into a tight Lycra sling? Keep the ladies guessing and your dignity intact with something a little more subtle at the beach.
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This article confirms it: Fashion writer, Laura Lanktree, knows absolutely nothing about men's fashion. With the numerous digs, her writing leaves me with the distinct impression that she does not even like the male body. Bad break-up, Laura? or is it something more primal?
I am told I dress well, and many friends will drag me along when they need new clothes. I had one female friend beg me to take her husband clothes shopping.
#1 - I agree that socks with sandals is plain wrong, but then that's not just a guy thing.
#2 - Unless you're Charlie Sheen and performing a skit from Two and a half men, leave the Hawaiian shirts to tropical vacations and then only if you want to be recognized as a tourist.
#3 - Speedos are not ruled out "...regardless of physique"; they are physique-dependent. Take one look at any Olympic swimmer and tell me they look bad in a speedo.
#4 - One necklace at a time? Although "necklace" is the correct technical term, men prefer to call them chains; we buy necklaces for the women in our lives. Number isn't the problem so much as how long the chain is. If the chain reaches your belt buckle, it's too long.
#5 - Short shorts - maybe not Daisy Duke short, but Jogging shorts are pretty short. Like speedo's they are physique dependent. Men's legs not sexy? Try looking again, some men have damn-fine legs.
#6 - Put the right spin on this one - trucker caps are okay as long as the logo is situation/age-appropriate. Khakis and dress pants, do not go with trucker OR baseball caps. Logos for almost anything other than a sports team, is probably plain marketing and a poor fashion choice.
#7 - Pleating is both material and physique-dependent. They only go with dress or semi-dress (i.e., business casual) pants - never with jeans or khakis. Also, the more above the average male waist size, the helpful pleats are at making you look thinner. For guys with 36-plus inch waists that want pleats, keep them to one or two ,1/2 inch wide by 4 inches long.
#8 - Even if you're a cowboy, do not tuck your jeans into the boots (like the picture) unless you have a practical reason to. As for "silent and rounded", both traditional and classic men's footwear are rarely rounded and the heel is wood. Even with that little bit of rubber, they are not silent. Excepting highly fashionable styles, men's shoes are never as pointed as a woman's. Pick a style that goes with the rest (i.e. no basketball shoes with a three-piece suit).
#9 - Obviously and in addition to Laura's lack of knowledge of men's fashion, she is oblivious to why Levi's calls them "Ex-Girlfriend". Only a guy (or lesbian) could truly understand the underlying play.
#10 - I have noticed a strong trend in this article. Tank tops are ...yep ... physique-dependent. Guys, remember that tank tops are an undergarment first. If you don't have the body for it, then nobody wants to see you parading around half-dressed. As for the "tufts of armpit hair", consider this rule: If you can braid it or it's as thick as a shag rug, trim it.
Guys, here's the wrap up:
1 - Dress for your body's shape and size
2 - If you aren't comfortable in it, you will not look good in it.
3 - Because it is comfortable, does not mean it looks good
4 - If you even needed to read this far, then stick with the classic styles until you have the time to learn and invest in fashion trends. Yes, invest, fashion done right is not a trip to Wal-Mart and requires replacement every season. Take a look at the average girl's wardrobe if you doubt that.
@Ken, no, I am not a gay frenchman, I am your average, run-of-the-mill, Canadian fag.
This article is moronic!! I am a woman and I am offended by this article! Some of the items I can see, like the oversized bling, but that is just to me. Some men like it and Women wear it ALL the time. Why can’t men have a little fun with their wardrobe, they don’t have near the options with all the women’s clothing and accessories stores everywhere. As for cowboy boots GIVE ME A BREAK!! Most fine Italian shoes have the same look (the pointed toe) to them as the high end cowboy boots. My partner owns 5 pairs of Old Gringo boots and believe me they do not look like women’s boots. As for muscle shirts I don’t see what the problem is. Women wear tank tops all the time, what is the option men go shirtless everywhere instead? I think this article must have been written by one of two people; a controlling women, who likes to put in print what men should be wearing or shouldn’t, to show her husband or partner that he is wrong in his choices. Or a really prissy male that thinks he is a style fashionista and only wears what is popular at the time and would wear any of these items, in a moment, if they were seen on the runway. Either way neither should hold any opinion over what men should wear.
Get over it, North America is NOT the whole world, you know.
I'm a woman and this list is STUPID!
though socks and sandals looks weird its ok, I don't care what men wear, if they look good in tight pink pants, muscle shirt , cowboy boots and hat good let them wear it men, like woman should dress to make themselves look good and most importantly feel good.
Just wondering if the author, Laura, even likes looking at men as it seems the sight of male skin above the knee or below the neck is forbidden. Well I do like looking at men, and there's nothing wrong with a guy showing off his body if he's fit. Honestly, what's not to like about a handsome guy in a muscle shirt, tight jeans or cowboy boots? That's a hot combo! And the comment about a speedo never looking good on guys is just wrong. I know that I'm right about this because speedos are proof that there really is a God in heaven! ;) I'm surprised leather pants didn't make this list too, though I suppose if they did it wouldn't matter if the guy owned a motorcycle or not, they would just be forbidden. Just like trucker hats on truckers whom it seems must all logically be bums. Though without truckers Laura couldn't go shopping for her husband's turtleneck!
i can agree that socks and sandals , Hawaiian shirts and tacky jewellery are not exactly on the chic side...
but give me a break, short shorts, armpit hair. what's wrong with that..
the most pathetic statement: "No man - regardless of his physique - looks good in a Speedo"
as someone said, this must have been written by a 15 year old!!!!
This article is ridiculous...
I just asked my wife& 4 of her f friends 30 to 67 yrs old about this artical!
Everyone of them prefer Speedos-mussel shirts, tight clothing on men including short shorts!
One of them asked if this was written by a 15yr old!
Thier opinion was that "Baggy" clothes are only for Verry young children!
Two of them(wife included )like men to shave legs& under arm hair!
The others prefer men hairy!
My wife dosn't enjoy cowboy boots but the others said they are fine on men
One comment was"if men can enjoy seeing more skin on women -Why can't women enjoy seeing more skin on men""?
This had to be written by some women. Only them cry about discrimination and can wear whatever they like male or female attire, show or not show legs, butts, whatever. I have much better looking legs and butts than 80% of these discriminatory females out there. I believe this write up and slide is just completely off the marks and quite retrograde and discriminatory... Fabric, style, cut etc have no gender to my knowledge, that for some it happens to cut it better than others: yes, both women and men.
This kind of write up only promote stereotype... but it does not surprise me. Written by a woman...Yes they can wear flat shoes, silk, nylon, satin, trousers (which is the max of men's attire), tight underwear etc... But Oh! God prohibit a male for having any of these deemed to be female tastes... he's got to be outdated, gay or whatever else... THUMBS DOWN Ms. Laura. YOU are old fashioned... update your hard disk or better change it: it is failing.
The author of this article is clearly the sort of person who honestly believes style is a formula based on the opinions of some select, nebulous, elite group of imaginary influential other people who gossip and slight and judge the great unwashed to be unworthy of their divinity. These people make great suckers for slick marketing. She is a delusional, snobby fashionista bonehead. Gosh. She probably thinks she's all that ... which is, amusingly to me ... so very tiresomely common. She is just like what she's implying all the so-called bad examples she rails against are: A walking billboard of dysfunction and immaturity.
You want to be a stylish original? Be yourself, be genuine, be real, see beyond the shell, and don't be a judgmental ass-hat. That's a lot more rare and elite than being a shallow twit, would you agree?
Frankly, if impressing this chick was something I did by accident, I'd want to re-evaluate my outfit AND my priorities.
Think I'd rather dare to be odd in her books.
Some people never outgrow high school. It's sad, really.
tisk tisk tisk. bad style Laura... next time let someone proof your work before you make yourself look bad on the internet with your bias ignorant articles.
Not happy with this list.
Men's fashion is already lacking in variety, and they are asking to take away some of what little we have? No to tank tops? Socks and sandals is classic. And pleated pants don't look terrible. I'm already pushing the norm; I get comments from some friends about the style or pattern/colour choices I make. Now my 'never' list is longer?
I'll wear what I want.
P.S. I'm actually quite surprised they didn't have capris on this list... Not that I mind them!