9 Things You're Doing Wrong as a Mom
Whatever it is, just when it feels like you're doing everything right, there's bound to be someone who will infer otherwise. Here's what we've been judged on the most.
We love motherhood, the sweet, sticky cheeks, feet so cute you could eat, soft heads sleeping on our chests, and even the tantrums can be adorable (sometimes). What we don't love so much? The judging. Because someone inevitably is going to witness the public no-nap meltdown. Or maybe your toddler will waddle into daycare and announce she had Doritos for breakfast. Perhaps your preschooler smacks you hard on the tush and squeals “Mommy slappy bum!” while you're in the supermarket line. Whatever it is, just when it feels like you're doing everything right, there's bound to be someone who will infer otherwise. Here's what we've been judged on the most.
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dispelling the myths of the perfect "machine mom", a feminist perspective:
What is the message here? Or are there a couple mixed ones?
I'm also not understanding what is being implied about what moms should do around thumb sucking and soothers. And even if these "suggestions" can be clarified, where can these ideas be referenced, or are they purely personal opinion, in other words, generally irrelevant to motherhood as a whole?
Ok, I made it to image #2...the quality of this article is very poor. I have no reason to read on except to make myself worried and upset about the intended "dumbification" of women in the mainstream. MSN, ivillage, Melissa Carter...none of you are up to par in today's social climate that us mothers are functioning in.
did something aweful happen to you? Yeesh! why so bitter. and i thought this was about how much you hated babies and kids and parents? why areyou all of a sudden changing the topic? was it because you just realized you were a baby once and probably drove everyone around the bend once in a while if not more? i know i did a lot of that haha!
Petiteanonyme, we sleep in separate beds because it's real life, not According to Jim, or Reba. Ever try to sleep 3 people in a bed and get any sleep? Even if one is a 28 lb 2 year old, no one would get any sleep, particularly if I tried coming to bed 2 hours later.
There are no intimacy issues.
hey PAGAN0101 I feel for you man! It must suck watching your wife let your child have complete control over your guys' evening schedule. You are the parents. You guys both need to make the transition to making her feel comfortable and happy in her own bed so it's an environment she wants to be in. There are lots of ways to make that happen. Wife has to be on board, and consistent. Don't think that any transition is always smooth, there will be tears, cries, maybe yells, and hurt feeling all around. But in the end, it is all best for your child. That is the only hard part to remember during this time is that. Good luck. (Dr. Phil has good tips on this).
As for those who think it's good to let their kids do whatever they want, I totally disagree. I live in an attached townhouse with walls that are well soundproofed next door to a woman who thinks that way. I never heard my neighbours in that unit until she and her two kids moved in.
The kids are constantly running and jumping up and down the stairs, running and jumping all over the bedroom on the other side of my bedroom wall when I'm still sleeping. I can't even lie down for a nap in the afternoon. Just because they get up at 7 am doesn't mean I should. I'm not responsible for them and I finished my job as a parent years ago. I'm on disability for stress and need to rest. Then there's the mother screaming and yelling at them and the kids' loud crying when she does. I've called Social Services and the caretaker twice on her and with rents as high as they are in this city (and no rental vacancies), she'd better smarten up and start getting control of herself and the situation. God knows there's enough resources here to help her do that and Social Services will lead her to them.
There's nothing wrong with discipline. It settles kids down and keeps parents from from going crazy like this mother next door does. It worked for my daughters when they were growing up and I never allowed them to disturb neighbours the way these kids are disturbing me.
My girls were raised to respect and be considerate of others everywhere, including at home. If they wanted to run and jump, they were sent outside. Their father and I were often surprised with compliments from older people about their good behaviour in restaurants and they knew they wouldn't get to go out again if they didn't behave. We never really noticed that our girls were better behaved than other peoples' children--we just expected it of them and they knew it.
Now I see my three grandchildren being raised with the same respect for others and I have no regrets. However, now I notice the difference between the behaviour of my grandchildren and other peoples' children in restaurants and it makes me proud of my grandchildren and the way my daughters are raising them. I'm never afraid that my grandchildren will embarrass me in public.
What too many parents today don't understand is that limits mean love and children can sense that. It's NOT letting children run wild and do what they please that ultimately makes them happy and knowing that their parents care enough to make it clear when enough is enough. Children need clear and consistent boundaries for their behaviour set from an early age to make them functional members of society so they will be accepted and successful adults one day.
If your kids are more fit for a reality show than an office in language skills, manners, and attitude, you have most definitely failed them.
Every child and every situation is different. You have to learn to 'wing it' on the fly. My son needed a warning of some kind - my daughter? you had to make her think it was her decision. One thing that irks me is children misbehaving in a public place and hearing "Little Jimmy - I'll only tell you three times!" then what?? the kid is on to you're threats the second time you don't follow through. If you have to shop, leave them with a trusted friend, family member, or even still - make the old man stay home from whatever and have some quality time with them. After all - fathers are the other half of this joint effort. The best behaved children I've witnessed are with single parents, they are doing dual roles but then, the kids don't have two parents to play off of, and believe me they will.
Above all - don't give in to the crap that the education system and government hands you about kids having to go to school full time at 4 years old. Geeze Mom! they are still babies and need the quality time with you the Parent? It's sad enough they are not learning the Lord's Prayer or how to behave when our National Anthem is played (if at all) in school. Too much concern about offending some third world newcomer and not enough on pride of God and Country. Whatever happened to MY COUNTRY - MY RULES? EVERYONE WANTS TO TAKE THE STREETS BACK - WHAT ABOUT TAKING OUR CHILDREN BACK UNDER OUR CONTROL ?
Freedom isn't this, it's isolation with a stronger purpose. You gotta be brave enough to choose right. Do something for the world without getting distracted, instead of adding to the freaking problem. But yeah thatd be called 'hatred on women' lol They're an embarrassment, might as well let em rot. Thanks for having the guts to say it. I'm with you wholeheartedly. And PS, yea ppl say we were born too, but it's not like we had a choice ehh lmao