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Updated: July 12, 2012 11:42 AM | By JESSICA O'REILLY
10 Mistakes Couples Make That Destroy Their Sex Lives

When we fail to prioritize intimacy the way we do other aspects of our lives, we weaken our connection to our partner, and our relationships suffer. But each of these mistakes is reversible, so check out our expert advice!

Avoiding Sex Talk
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Avoiding Sex Talk
To have a great sex life, you have to talk about it. And though having sex seems to be easier than talking about it, the awkward conversations are essential to a hot sex life. This is because there are no universal truths about sex, the body and attraction. Each person is different and no expert can tell you what works for you or your partner. The only way to know is to talk openly about your desires and concerns.

It you're not loving your sex life and suffering in silence, it's time to speak up. Follow these three steps to ease into this tough conversation:

1. Compliment. Talk about what you do like.
2. Ask. Welcome your partner's input, suggestions and concerns.
3. Share. Express your concerns being mindful of your words, facial expressions and body language to engage your partner.

And remember that you don't have to get through all three steps in one sitting!

Jul 16, 2012 7:55PM
I would not agree with Kevs95, and I'd advise other men not to take advice from someone who equates "showing your passion" with hurting someone. maybe you've watched too much porn and you're out of touch with reality, but if a woman says it hurts and you do it harder, she won't think you're a good lover, she'll think you're an ****. Rough ****ing is not what gets most women off physically or emotionally. (She might leave you for someone with a better grip on female anatomy, though.) There are many other ways to show your passion besides ignoring her pain.
Jul 16, 2012 6:49AM

i'd agree with Kevs95.  it's not so much rough sex.  it's the reward factor, from an article in a science magazine "love is partically derived from desire. "Love is actually a habit that is formed from sexual desire as desire is rewarded. It works the same way in the brain as when people become addicted to drugs."

if a guy doesn't show that desire with a woman...neither partner is rewarded (even if love is there with all his heart) if that reward is not there from the "habit" (for lack of a better word) of making love...both parties will start to question if the love is actually there....if a woman feels no love...she will be looking elsewhere.   

Jul 16, 2012 5:27AM
I agree with Kevs95 (who commented) just so long as it stay in the bedroom (or the 'sexing' room); many people need to learn to distinguish the difference between fantasy & reality. Yes, acting out power trips if consented between both participants beforehand is healthy in my own opinion, and if we can all find just one partner who does it for us alone in that department, that in itself is worth a mint.
Jul 16, 2012 4:13PM
I have to agree with almost all of it.
Jul 18, 2012 4:05PM

Seriously Kevs95 (aka The missing link)?!  I'm sure this was a popular mind set among Primates but I'd like to think men have evolved just a tad!  I can't believe their are other knuckle draggers out there who would agree with him!

I would say, Men should show initiative and a little 'mock' aggression isn't a bad thing but you should care if something hurts and be sensitive to her feelings.

Oh, Kevs95, one more thing you might not have clued into.... just fyi, These days we also adhere to the following phrase, "No means No".  Just in case your confused about that as well.

Sep 21, 2012 11:56AM
To  Peters 12345and Kevs95 strangely enough there are a lot of women on Twitter who seem to like it rough;perhaps there has been a shift in the desires of women.Regardless,sex with your partner should never be repetative,where everything is always the same;sex by the numbers is boring;there should be constant communication between partners.There is nothing wrong with cuddling with your partner clothed or unclothed and just being together.Men and women please make time for together time,if not,you drift apart and one morning you wake up and realize that you're sleeping with a stranger.
Jul 20, 2012 5:56AM

yes i thought it was intersting and lovely


Jul 15, 2012 11:42PM
you know another thing to do...f**k her like you want to hurt her.  if you don't she will find someone that does. kind and warm and caring is fine once in a while...majority of time...f**k her like you really mean it...if she says it hurts...don't try to be sweet and caring and stop...if it harder with her.  if you don't.....someone else will
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