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Updated: July 12, 2012 11:42 AM | By JESSICA O'REILLY
10 Mistakes Couples Make That Destroy Their Sex Lives

Letting Themselves Go

Letting Themselves Go
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Letting Themselves Go
Neglecting your appearance altogether sends a strong message to your partner about how you feel and how you want to be perceived.

When people complain that their partners have let themselves go, they are not usually talking about a bit of weight gain or the typical bodily changes that come with age. The natural changes that develop with time and age do not constitute letting yourself go. In fact, they should be celebrated and we all need to find a way to enjoy our evolving bodies.

But when you stop putting any effort into the way you look, it can take a serious toll on your sex life, health and body image. It's not usually an issue of how you look, but how much effort you put into your health and hygiene. Sex therapist, Dr. Guy Grenier explains:

"Couples will notice that their partner will try to look their best when going to work or when having friends over, but seldom go to the same lengths when it is just the two of them. Putting an effort into your appearance and presentation is another 'sexual secret' that goes a long way to keeping things exciting in longterm relationships."

Jul 16, 2012 7:55PM
I would not agree with Kevs95, and I'd advise other men not to take advice from someone who equates "showing your passion" with hurting someone. maybe you've watched too much porn and you're out of touch with reality, but if a woman says it hurts and you do it harder, she won't think you're a good lover, she'll think you're an ****. Rough ****ing is not what gets most women off physically or emotionally. (She might leave you for someone with a better grip on female anatomy, though.) There are many other ways to show your passion besides ignoring her pain.
Jul 16, 2012 6:49AM

i'd agree with Kevs95.  it's not so much rough sex.  it's the reward factor, from an article in a science magazine "love is partically derived from desire. "Love is actually a habit that is formed from sexual desire as desire is rewarded. It works the same way in the brain as when people become addicted to drugs."

if a guy doesn't show that desire with a woman...neither partner is rewarded (even if love is there with all his heart) if that reward is not there from the "habit" (for lack of a better word) of making love...both parties will start to question if the love is actually there....if a woman feels no love...she will be looking elsewhere.   

Jul 16, 2012 5:27AM
I agree with Kevs95 (who commented) just so long as it stay in the bedroom (or the 'sexing' room); many people need to learn to distinguish the difference between fantasy & reality. Yes, acting out power trips if consented between both participants beforehand is healthy in my own opinion, and if we can all find just one partner who does it for us alone in that department, that in itself is worth a mint.
Jul 16, 2012 4:13PM
I have to agree with almost all of it.
Jul 18, 2012 4:05PM

Seriously Kevs95 (aka The missing link)?!  I'm sure this was a popular mind set among Primates but I'd like to think men have evolved just a tad!  I can't believe their are other knuckle draggers out there who would agree with him!

I would say, Men should show initiative and a little 'mock' aggression isn't a bad thing but you should care if something hurts and be sensitive to her feelings.

Oh, Kevs95, one more thing you might not have clued into.... just fyi, These days we also adhere to the following phrase, "No means No".  Just in case your confused about that as well.

Sep 21, 2012 11:56AM
To  Peters 12345and Kevs95 strangely enough there are a lot of women on Twitter who seem to like it rough;perhaps there has been a shift in the desires of women.Regardless,sex with your partner should never be repetative,where everything is always the same;sex by the numbers is boring;there should be constant communication between partners.There is nothing wrong with cuddling with your partner clothed or unclothed and just being together.Men and women please make time for together time,if not,you drift apart and one morning you wake up and realize that you're sleeping with a stranger.
Jul 20, 2012 5:56AM

yes i thought it was intersting and lovely


Jul 15, 2012 11:42PM
you know another thing to do...f**k her like you want to hurt her.  if you don't she will find someone that does. kind and warm and caring is fine once in a while...majority of time...f**k her like you really mean it...if she says it hurts...don't try to be sweet and caring and stop...if it harder with her.  if you don't.....someone else will
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