19Comments
May 1, 2011 7:00AM
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I find it true. I was married many years, now a widow ! When we married, we were always careful not to let off, didn't want to hurt the other one; i am a very straightforward person, can't seem to keep things to myself and I end up saying what's on my mind, politely, but I have to talk. My husband wouldn't' t say much but I could often see that something was bothering him. I would tell or ask him what was bugging him; I had to almost pull the words out of his mouth. When he talked, it was in a dry, sometimes rugged way, and I would tell him that he could talk to me, not yell, and, he would answer, that's why I never want discussions. He waited too long to talk to the point that it would come out wrong. I learned over the year, and started to read him more than question him; it worked for the first  years, then I had a chat with him and told him it wasn't healthy. I guess that's why. we both learned our lesson, and stayed married 43 years before he passed away, and a very good marriage it was. Good children too. PS: It takes love to marry, it takes patience, and, understanding; and specially listening, being two to make a good marriage. Today, people separate for the least things, no patience, to much independence, and freedom. You've both have to commit to one another to make sure it works...   Open-mouthedOpen-mouthedCryingRed heartRed roseClockLeft hugRight hug
Sep 2, 2011 7:52AM
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Y Cannot there be same articles written by a man writer. These articles are always one sided and that is a woman's side. Makes men feel as if what they feel is unimportant. In an equal relationship both the sides and there thoughts should be analyzed. These articles are make belief that it is only woman who have ISSUES. Men are human too and have feelings too. Believe it or not some men are more sensitive than women, I mean sensitive not sissy :-). I hope to see same articles written from men's POV and telling women what they need to do.

Not a woman hater by any chance just want men's POV to be portrayed as well.

Thank you.

May 1, 2011 8:59PM
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I find it extremely disturbing how the institution of marriage is being viewed here. There are too many positives of being married and of having a family that is better than being unmarried and sleeping around or jumping through relationships.

What is important is to find a reason to compromise in a marriage and leaving the self for something better. The strange thing is that you do it in the office or at your job in the name of team work but forget that its the family and especially within the institution of marriage that you need to have the best teamwork.

Blaming marriages for your shortcomings is not going to solve the problems. Looking within you and finding a reason to change will.

Jan 4, 2012 12:13PM
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   Marriage IS about compromise& carring about the OTHER persons happyness-We Can Chooose to be friends& porn stars for each other-plan TOGETHER for the future-& find mutual compromises about lifestyle& home --Or we can try to CONTROL the other-or worry about what others outside our marriage think & try to live like OTHERS Tell us we should!!

   Everything is a choice!

May 1, 2011 9:48AM
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Note: A spendthrift is not someone who saves money. A spendthrift and a spender are the same thing.
May 1, 2011 9:25AM
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No Desire for Sex because one is suffering from an Illness and the Other does'nt see this.
May 1, 2011 9:37AM
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One small note on point #10 : spendthrift and spender mean the same thing. Perhaps changing the first word to 'thifty' might have been better.
May 1, 2011 5:32AM
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Fighting over money has to be the biggest thing that married couples fight about. That is why I don't believe in marriage because it is not about love, it is all about money. Marriage is a capitalist institution.
Jun 13, 2011 6:38PM
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Confused I had a 'near-perfect' mariage- now my dear husband is in a long term care with dementia.

Am I the only one who discussed all contensuous issue with my loved one before marrying him? Believe me, I wouldn't have maried him if I foresaw some serous flaws that couldn't be worked out.

No one mentioned that you have to be mature! I love him so much I did things I didn't care to- and he did the very same for me! I'm not referring to SEX- I'm talking MENTAL MATURITY...

Remember you don't have to marry at all!

 

 

May 1, 2011 10:51PM
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Hah, the ironic thing is that my own parents just had a fight. Seriously, I wish they'd read this so they'd know to go into ANOTHER ROOM. God it's hard to distract the younger one so they wouldn't cry and get worried over the fights they'd have. I do think that this list is very accurate. For my parents do fight over kids, money and especially about the family they grew up with.... and it can hurt the kids to hear about things being said about them and their grandparents, aunts and uncles too because we can feel at fault and guilty that there is nothing we can do about it.

just some advice: please fight in an appropriate time and place and resolve it under and hour. thx. -,-"
Oct 12, 2011 9:12AM
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Marriage is based on commitment and trust form both partners but when only one believes in all this and the other feels he can be a husband and a partner when he feels like and single and enjoy his life when he feels like that marriage ia based on lies and never lasts.
May 1, 2011 1:39PM
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Other people that insist on infecting your relationship.
May 8, 2011 7:02PM
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Try WEDDING PLANNING and Mother-in-laws!!
May 1, 2011 9:14PM
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i think the best is just being single, cause you dont have to try so hard to satisfy the other one and you dont make the other one disappointed,  this way we dont get to hurt the other one and wont get hurt by others, happy ending!Open-mouthed
May 1, 2011 10:59AM
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It's so sad to see two people stay together because of money, I remember the first thing that my mother in law to be asked my love of my life was what does he do and how much does he make,
May 19, 2014 5:24PM
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Yeah, i think this video shows nicely how things can over heat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zD57GurLO14&lc=z12wgfeyclysxrrff22iwjh5ay3rgbh4z04

May 19, 2014 5:24PM
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Yeah, i think this video shows nicely how things can over heat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zD57GurLO14&lc=z12wgfeyclysxrrff22iwjh5ay3rgbh4z04

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