Women Who Force Their Husbands to Cheat
In search of bigger divorce settlements, some Japanese women are tricking their husbands into affairs.
Hiromi Fukuda, 26, meets her married prey in the Tokyo district of Shinjuku in the late afternoon. Her uniform is "anything short and shiny," to show off her long legs, and a large heart-shaped hairpin that holds back her glossy bangs — and doubles as a tiny camera she operates with a remote in her pocket, snapping photos of her target as he takes her to a seedy hotel. Two more agents hiding nearby click away with telephoto lenses.
Fukuda is a wakaresaseya, a professional "breakup artist." Working for a Tokyo-based detective agency called Secret Shadow, she is hired by wives who want to entrap their husbands and ensure a better divorce settlement. Women initiate 75 percent of Japanese divorces — 27 percent of marriages end in one, a rate that has doubled in the past 15 years — but unless they have hard proof of infidelity or some other wrongdoing, they risk being awarded pitiful payouts by the courts.
"Women have had enough of being treated badly," says Fukuda, a psych major who took the seducer job for "the excitement" and the $200,000-a-year salary. "It's the norm in Japan for husbands to cheat, so I don't feel bad about tricking them on behalf of their wives."
For $2,500 a week per client, she engineers an innocent first encounter with the husband — sitting next to him in a noodle joint or asking for directions — and then follows through with a second "coincidental" meeting in the street. "I tell them I'm thrilled to see them again, and then suggest we go to a bar," explains the glamorous Fukuda. "They rarely refuse."
The entrapment business is booming. "Ten years ago, there were about 10 wakaresaseya agencies in Tokyo, but now there are too many to count," says Secret Shadow's gruff-voiced owner, Michio Hasegawa. The industry recently made international headlines when a male agent went to prison for killing his mark, a young Tokyo mother with whom he'd fallen in love and begun an affair in earnest. When she found out who he was and tried to leave, he strangled her with a piece of household twine.
Fukuda claims she never allows herself to get emotionally involved with her clients, but admits she has sex with them when necessary. "It's just part of the job," she says. Still, despite the great pay, she wishes her work were a bit more challenging. "You don't need brains to be a professional seducer," she laments. "All you need is for the man's brains to be in his pants, and nine times out of 10 they are."
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Looking for husbands you can steal from like this is comparable to prostitution; you're having sex with a man to get access to his capital. Nobody has respect for prostitutes, so nobody should respect women until they change. Even my own mom has done this to a few men, and I hate that of her.
Think I'll just go and find myself a nice quiet mountaintop in the Himalayas for the rest of my days, because I want nothing to do with creatures that do this kind of thing to each other.
The man bashing and negative male steretypes continue here at MSN, woot!! Way to go!
Living in Japan for the last 18 yrs I completely underestand why Japanese men cheat. Japanese women, once married become lazy shopoholics. I have married friends who haven't had sex with their wives for yrs. Not out of the lack of trying to but the wife just stops putting out. She's more concerned with watching TV or using the computer. In the typical Japanese family, the main bond is between the wife and the children. The husband is just the chump who brings home the paycheck. Most men don't initiate divorce for the sole reason that it is looked down upon in the workplace and can hurt the man's chances of climbing the corporate ladder.
I've told many of my Japanese friends just to kick their wife to the curb and see how long she can fend for herself but it is all about saving face in Japan, especially if you are the man.
Crazy country and crazy ideas.
Kintamaforyou: Thanks for your comment. It's very rare in North America that we hear the mens' point of view. Based on what you said, and I have no doubt it's true, men have a reason to cheat. However, I don't think what you said about Japanese men being the chumps who bring home the cash is only true in Japan. It's often the same in North America, until the woman decides she is not satisfied with her life. Then she divorces the man, who then loses his wife, his kids and his house.....So, you see, it's not just Japanese men who are caught in the trap....
But to a North American woman, pointing out the truth only makes me "bitter" and "pathetic".....Oops!
Your an overpaid Hooker!!! You have sex with them when you HAVE too....thats disgusting....maybe they wouldn't cheat if a little floozie wasn't throwing herself at them!!
Get a real job.
On the other hand, I say to the men saying that they were forced by their wife to cheat because she gained weight: Did you only marry her because she was thin? Were her looks your only motivation? If so, you never loved her anyway. Love is not just about how a man or woman looks, seeing as everyone will eventually look old and wrinkly. If you have a problem with your wife's weight, or with the fact that she was withholding sex after arguments, TALK TO HER ABOUT IT. Don't just give up and run out with another woman, tell your wife the problems you're having.
I do, however, agree that Japanese culture encourages married couples to not become attached to each other. Marriages are often treated like business arrangements between two people who do not love each other, and the women are encouraged to become spoiled housewives. The men, in turn, are encouraged to be workaholics.
Ultimately the guy is at fault. Janaese culture or not, if this woman walked up to hmim and seduced him, he should just leave his wife to be with her BEFORE he cheats. If your heart goes elsewhere, unles you have children, you should too. With kids it gets complicated and more thought is required.
Nobody should get married quickly. Think about it seriously and if you have doubts but still want to get married there are lawyers for that.
These agencies however are really disgusting though. If she is a stay-at-home type spending their money (partially his) for this purpose then she should automatically lose. Cops cannot do this, it is called entrapment and if they do all charges are dropped.
To all the people bemoaning our current generation of amorality, it never fails to amaze me how people can pretend that social issues like infidelity are a byproduct of modern civilization and didn't stretch back all the way to the beginning of recorded history and beyond. The only difference we have now from then is the invention of divorce, and division of assets.
Japanese society is very different from North American society; making comparisons assuming they R the same doesn't really work. U're not comparing apples to apples. People over here aren't expected to be just breadwinners/baby-makers. People try to find a mate who'll compliment them, be their friend, someone they can grow old with.
One of the sad points seemingly missed here is the flippant way the woman talks about having sex with her clients: It’s ok. It's part of her job. She seemingly gets paid well. What's a little sex with a stranger for $200,000 a year? It’s just a body. (What's the buying power of that $200,000 in Japan anyway? What's the salary equivalent over here?? I'd wager her $200,000 doesn't go as far in Japan as it would over here, meaning she's not as high-priced/glamorous as she's trying to paint.) By writing so flippantly about sex with strangers for money, she is normalizing it & trying to make it seem like it's no big deal. But let’s not forget: sex for money = prostitute.
Articles like this basically dumb us all down. Read enuf of them & we gradually begin to think & accept that sex is really just a meaningless physical act between 2 people. Who’s it really hurting, especially if nobody knows? It is the normalization of bad behavior.
These articles reinforce & encourage a general disconnect between people. Sex is rapidly becoming something that's no longer sacred between a husband & wife. & think of the message sent to young girls: "It's just a body. If u're hot, u might as well get paid for sex. No big deal. It’s done in Japan so might as well do it over here" -- forgetting completely disparate societies.
In North America (N.A.), if your marriage is really that bad & u can’t stand your spouse, & there’s honestly no hope of salvaging anything, then leave already. Your kids watch u & learn who & how to be from your actions. Kids aren’t stupid. They know when something’s wrong. They probably even know u’re cheating. If u want your kids to be better than u & to understand that anything worth having is work (& u can't do the work), then @ least walk away, preferably with dignity. Cheating is easy but it’s also cowardly & a sad reflection of a growing throwaway mentality: "Look!! A brand new shiny phone, camera, car, etc.! Let's trade up."
But if u nurture & love your family, & are kind to & grateful 4 those u've chosen to spend your life with, there is no reason to cheat. U might even find that when acting from a place of love (& thus respect), your spouse becomes more that way too. & they may want to exercise/lose weight. & u might even start to see the person u fell in love with (if ever u really were in love). It’s all about communication, kindness, & love...not me-me-me selfishness & faulty logic/comparisons & the abject dismissal of those who luv u. Cheating doesn't work in the long run. & it's not right -- no matter what u tell yourself.
No Comment or the FemeNazi's will verbally come down on me like a ton of bricks.
They NEVER want to hear the truth anyways...right, Ckass? Can't just let someone have their own opinion without attacking them, can you?
If they don't think like you, then they're wrong, correct? I've never been to Japan and I DON'T know if Kintamaforyou is correct but that doesn't give you the right to come down on him/her. Maybe you should go to Japan and check it out for yourself?
Oh no!!! I made a comment. D'oh!
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