7 Surprising Signs He'll Never Marry You
The tricky thing about womanizers is that they usually have their game down pat, which means it's easy to get sucked in. They seem totally sweet and charming on the surface — who'd ever guess they were secretly scoundrels? So to help you sharpen your man-whore radar, we narrowed down the more subtle clues a guy has a case of commitment phobia. If he exhibits three or more of these, watch out.
1. All of His Exes Are "Crazy"
Be wary of a man who refers to his former girlfriends as crazy, psycho, or clingy — because what's the common denominator here? Him. The dude's either looney-bin glue, or he never really wanted the relationship to work in the first place.
2. He Plans Ultra-Romantic Dates
A cozy candlelit dinner is nice and all, but if he only takes you to secluded places, it could be a tip-off that he doesn't want other women to spot him on a date. Next time he asks you out, suggest hitting up a busy restaurant or popular bar and see how he reacts.
- Choosing the right man (what happily married women already know)
- The men you should NEVER even think about marrying
3. He's Hot and Cold on the Phone
He'll text you 10 times in a night, then go MIA for days. He'll chat on the phone for an hour, then ignore your messages for the rest of the week. Wondering what the hell is going on? We're going to be brutally honest: He's mostly likely busy dating other women.
4. He Guilt-Trips You
It's normal for a guy to be jonesing to sleep with you from day one. But this behaviour is a red flag if he a) lays the pressure on thick, or b) tries to make you feel bad if you choose not to have sex — like by giving you a sob story about blue balls.
5. Stuff Is Missing from His Facebook Profile
Has he untagged any photos of you and him? Does he post updates often, yet never mention hanging out with you? Is his relationship status hidden? We smell a rat. A guy who's leery of commitment will make sure there are no traces of you on his page.
6. His Buddies Act Distant
Even though a player's bros may be friendly enough, they probably won't ask you many personal questions about your job, interests, etc. The ugly truth: They don't want to invest time and energy getting to know you because they figure you're not going to be around very long.
7. He Says You're Soul Mates
Okay, we adore the idea of love at first sight — but too much too soon could also indicate sketchy intentions. If a dude comes on super strong right off the bat (we're talking the first couple of weeks), telling you things like that he's starting to fall in love with you, just make sure you play it safe and trust your gut. Those powerful words might be rolling off his tongue so smoothly because he's spoken them so many times before.
SOURCES: William July, PhD, Author of Confessions of an Ex-Bachelor and Jenn Berman, PsyD, Relationship Expert for Cosmo Radio.
More from Cosmopolitan
- Why Guys Dump Girls They Dig
- Sex Tips from Guys
- Kissing Dos and Don'ts
- How to Blow His Mind (and Yours!) in the Bedroom
- Wacky Beauty Tips That Work
Although some of these are good a few are either missing or incorrect.
First, I had a crazy ex and I am glad I didn't marry her. My first real girlfriend didn't wait for me to ask. She dropped the hints and when I didn't ask right away she propsed to me. By the way, I said yes, but in the end she jumped to another conclusion instead of just asking me and I was dumped. I found out later why she did it and when I answered to it, she was stunned that she had it all wrong. (no ladies it wasn't whether I was cheating) She has regretted it every since and to this day she still feels bad about it and mentions it when we talk, but we both went our separate ways long ago amicably and remain friends. Why does this article force the "he doesn;t love you if he doesn;t marry you" garbage down our throats. My friend and his girlfriend will never get married, but they love each other. If your man doesn't believe in marriage, don't hang on thinking that he will change his mind. Leave him and find someone who does or accept that you won't get married. The amount of woman that I know who are just waiting and waiting for him to ask, are wasting their time and mine as their friend. Move on. I went out with a woman 12 years ago and I wanted to get married, and she strung me along for the last year of our 4 year relationship, I left, found someone far better and now I am married with two kids.
I went on a first date one time and she flat out asked me what I thought of her. I loved the honesty and I answered with honesty. We really hit it off after that.
So if you are a woman reading this article, you are probably one of those "waiting woman". If so, just ask him if and when he wants to get married. A non-answer and he gets the boot. Honesty really is the best policy.
It is important to not completely generalize, and use your sense about if it applies, but if you have a guy who fits this type of bill and you have to try to justify every point, you may want to question him, or something.
Also, I think people are missing the boat with this article, getting offended at a striking point with which they have a soft spot. This is a good overall article that if all these dots line up where your guy is fulfilling the majority of these things most of the time, there might be something up. Lots of girls get themselves in bad situations with guys, and an article like this could help them avoid getting used, and/or having a relationship they regret.
She ultimately felt the need to compete with her Gucci purse buying, Burberry coat wearing friends, and before long, I was persona non grata.
Now she's engaged to Mr. Money. I guess that's what it's all about..
Also being "hot and cold" doesn't mean they are dating other people. Drop the assumptions. I confess that I'll saturate my girlfriend with emails and time spent with her because I know I need some "alone" time or I'm going to be out of time. It's like an emotional savings bank & she appreciates it. Communication is pivotal here. In fact, pretty much all those scenarios can be cured by Seeking Truth and asking questions. If my girlfriend doesn't ask, I can't be expected to proactively provide answers. This drivel packed article needs to be jammed into the bowels of magazines like Cosmo and not cluttering up the web.
These kinds of articles really frustrate me. As a good-looking, intelligent, romantic, loyal man, this articile is a total attack on guys like me. All it does is create a fear of the opposite sex in young, vulnerable women who are easily influenceable. What ever happened to giving guys the benefit of the doubt? What ever happened to having a good ol' heart to heart?
This article is trash and will only make women overanalyze every little detail of what the guy does, and every little detail could be potentially twisted in a way that makes the guy look bad. When I go on a date, it is a compliment to be observed attentively, but it is an invasion of space and an attack on my character if I were to be obsessively scrutinized to the point of paranoia. So to Cosmopolitan I say: maybe it's time you focus on the positive. There ARE good guys out there. If a woman falls victim to a player, so be it. Don't stop there and generalize. You'd be surprised how many tough-looking guys are actually very kind and sensitive on the inside. I know, because I'm one of them.
I know it's a matter of opinion but most of my ex girl friends are crazy. lol.
I'm still friends with them but knowing that they are crazy helps a lot.
That missing in action one most likely means the guy is out working trying to make enough money for the next date.
The other one about taking a lady to a place a guy don't normally hang out is because
you don't want all your friends coming over and ruining a good conversation.
Instead of looking for all those signs and jumping to conclusions just ask the guy and if he is honest it won't be a hot seat for him. If he don't like it just kick him in the **** and find a fresh one.
Jumping to conclusions and acting on them can destroy a relationship fast.
My last lady did just that. I chose not to fight with her and let her go. But she was wrong it wasn't how she seen it at all.
Ladies please take the time to study your man a little. Just because he won't raise his voice to defend himself doesn't mean that he is guilty of anything. He may be like me and just doesn't like to argue.
Oh k... Although most of these you really could get answer by just asking the man "What's Up?" However i do have to wonder if "You Guys" ever do come to the realization that woman over think everything! And to be honest there are guys out
there that are "Players"! There would not be the stereotype if it wasn't true! Yes Honesty is the best thing! And Yes Woman should not jump to conclusions...but at the same time don't you men think you should understand where she is coming from and if she is an over thinker? I mean the door does have to swing both ways in a relationship ... the woman shouldn't have to do all the work....
These are, for the most part, good points. I would mention that when these activities, behaviors etc. are habitual, and take place 50% or more of the time, you have a real player on your hand. Another "sign" to add is that the guy hasn't had a long-term relationship with a woman--at least one year or more--But has a good network of female "friends". I agree with Green to the gills about jumping to conclusions, that's why noticing habits are very important...Of course the key is knowing them before getting to involved and then dumped or left barefoot and pregnant with a no-show.
I love my signifigant other, he is the best UnHusband I could ask for. He stepped into the roll of dad to my children, and is a supportive, loving, do everthing in his power to make us happy kind of guy. He is everything I ever wanted in a man, not to mention he puts up with my life of pure chaos.
I know most of his ex's and they ARE crazy.
He is definatly not the one for crowds!
He swears he will never marry me. At first I was apauled by his feelings on the subject. But I love him, he does everything for me. More over he makes me happy, so whats the big deal? I would never leave him because he wont marry me!
What are your thoughts on baby names?
Thanks for being one of the first people to vote. Results will be available soon. Check for results
- I like trendy names that make the annual list of most popular names.
- I prefer unique names with different spellings.
- I stand by classic names that will never get old.
- I have no opinion.