It used to be cheating, parenting styles, and money management, but now a whole new crop of issues is plaguing married couples. But, it turns out, with some sound counselling, they're actually way easier to solve.
What brought them here: A Facebook affair
Darren Wilk, a certified Gottman Couples Therapist in private practice in Vancouver, British Columbia, says that 30 to 40 per cent of the couples he treats are trying to recover from some form of infidelity. When he met Megan, her Facebook friendship with an old flame had progressed to exchanging not-so-innocent messages about "being each other's old crush," and ultimately, an affair that was discovered by Megan's husband, Paul. "The problem with Facebook is that it makes people feel as though they can be more vulnerable when they're behind the computer screen," says Wilk. "Couples who were once able to reach out to their partner may now find it easier to get their emotional needs met online."
Facebook is dangerous for society even if individuals aren't partaking in dubious moral behavior...This social trend of moving online, fostering shallow but meaningless relationships, shallow and meaningless communication is detrimental on many, many levels.
As a society we need to unplug...stick to REALITY and real relationships, real learning, real connection. This sound bite, video bite, digital way of thinking and living is only causing greater mental stress in what was an already stressed world.
It is almost amusing that like many 'counsellors' the focus in this article remains firmly focused upon the superficial . Facebook is just a tool, no more and no less than newspaper personals,grocery store pin up boards and weekday social clubs.
If the couple is focused on each other there won't be room for anyone else. Sadly though for many partners they are so occupied with their own little world (work / children / recreation activities) that they are truly shocked when they discover their partner has found someone in the preceeding year (or years) who is interested in them and what is going on in their world.
The first response is usually: "but how could they???" I paid attention to them once, why should I show any interest now, we're married ! We have children ! I don't have to try anymore, that was only necessary before (marriage, children, promotion, etc).
Seriously, so many people devote more attention to their phone, their car, their purse than they do to their spouse and yet are amazed when the person who they didn't have time or energy for found someone who did.
You're not just missing opportunities with the opposite sex—research shows shy people are less likely to be promoted. But you can change.
Date 10-09-07, Duration 2:23, Views 292311
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