Women's Health
Updated: April 11, 2013 9:30 AM | By Jessica Gross, Women’s Health
Mr. Right Is Not Real

Mr. Real vs Mr. Right



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The Mr. Right fantasy isn't really about holding out for excellence, says Kolod. It's an excuse to avoid intimacy. Relationships are messy and scary; they require vulnerability and a loss of control. So if we focus on an unattainable ideal, we have a ready-made excuse for not trying.

The point, however, isn't to give up what's important to you or to be with a man you're not attracted to. It's to be with someone who fits you, personally, rather than some catchall paragon of manhood.

What you should look for is a guy who shares your values, says Taitz. If you have an anything-goes attitude about sex, a guy who considers handcuffs out of bounds probably won't cut it. If you're independent, don't try to make it work with someone who needs you nearby at all times. And if you want kids, your partner should too. Try making one list of requirements and another of preferences, suggests Taitz. You might want a tall guy but need one who loves dogs.

MORE:How to Solve 5 Common Marriage Problems

3Comments
Apr 17, 2013 11:54PM
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I love how this article try to make you believe women are so good and perfect.  There are no Mr. and Mrs. Right.  These magazine have to stop lying to women.
Apr 18, 2013 2:49AM
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What an interesting article.  It's too bad MSN doesn't have the odd man writing some of this kind of stuff, and yes, the media trend of wonderful women BS has gone way beyond being tiresome.  I've been with the same women since 1973, so I probably have very little to add to the debate other than rating someone on some sort of point system is really pathetic.  I could never be so clinical about love, nor could I control who I "fell" for.

 

Either he or she will "rock your boat" or they won't, as my Grandmother used to say.  End of checklist.  Dive in, and make up the script as you go along.  If it fails, so be it.

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