What he's hiding: He compares you to his last girlfriend
It's true: Your guy whips out his ex ruler and measures everything about you: your looks, your bedroom abilities, how well you get along with his friends. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. "It's normal to make comparisons, and an ex is his most recent reference point," says Christopher Blazina, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Tennessee State University.

What you should do
Nothing. He'll inevitably come to the conclusion that you blow away anyone else he's ever been with, and the silent comparathon raging in his mind will cease. When you should do something: if he frequently blurts out things like "My ex always..." or "My last girlfriend never..." It's not necessarily a sign that he hasn't gotten over her, but it can still be hurtful, Blazina says. When that happens, it's fair to tell him, for example, that you don't want him bringing up the details of their trip to Mexico. Chances are, he's not even aware he's been doing it and will be happy to stop.

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When You're Seriously Dating or Engaged

What he's hiding: He still masturbates — probably more than you think
Twenty percent of the guys Women's Health polled admitted to taking matters into their own hands daily; another 33 percent fessed up to self-pleasuring three times a week — usually alone, often in the shower.

You know his stuff? Here's our how to guide to please him.

What you should do
It depends on how much his habit affects you. Masturbation itself is normal behavior, but if he's avoiding sex or having trouble peaking when he's with you, those could be signs it's gotten, uh, out of hand. "There are guys who will have sex with a partner once or twice a month, and masturbate 20 to 25 times," says psychologist Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., co­author of Discovering Your Couple Sexual Style .

If you suspect that's the case, try to refocus his hands where they belong: on you. Kerner suggests sharing a hot fantasy or dirty thought with him and seeing if that will draw his attention back to the relationship. Some men are going solo more often these days to relieve their economic stress. Sound like your guy? Treat him to extra physical affection (give him a back rub, scratch his head). This will help him associate comfort and calmness with you.

Try these four massages to banish stress and boost your sex life.

What he's hiding: He's been talking to at least one past love online
Technology has made it easier than ever to reconnect with former flames. In the past four years, the number of adults with profiles on social-networking sites has quadrupled. Experts say that men may reach out to an ex as a sort of insurance policy. "People like to have backups, not necessarily to form a long-term relationship with now, but to have as a placeholder so they're not left high and dry should their existing relationship end," Buss says.

What you should do
"Often these placeholders are never used, so there's no need to worry or do anything about it," Buss says. But if you're spotting signs that his new Facebook friend may be more than just a platonic e-pal — he regularly finds excuses to go online, he tries to conceal his correspondence — he may be up to no good. "Say every time you two get into an argument he immediately goes online — that's a concern," Gardos says. "And in that case, you might need to evaluate his commitment to you."

What he's hiding: He's afraid he won't be able to stay faithful for life
Affairs are on the rise. A recent analysis of data from the General Social Survey found that up to 20 percent of men under 30 have been unfaithful, a 5 percent increase since 15 years ago. To make matters worse, our culture does a lot to propagate the myth that sex starts to suffer as soon as you say "I do," Parrott says. A University of North Texas study found that married couples in movies are rarely depicted as having a good sex life. "It's a common male perspective, especially in the early years of marriage," he says.

What you should do
Fact is, many couples do find that sex starts to wane after exchanging wedding vows. So your objective should be to assure him that you two will beat the odds. Spice things up by suggesting new positions and get it on in new places, from the kitchen counter to a backyard hammock.


When You're Married...

What he's hiding: He wants sex twice as much as he's having it with you
His concerns about post-wedding sex (see above) may have been well-founded: One study showed that men want 50 percent more action than they're currently getting. Even so, most guys would rather suffer in silence than bring up the subject with you. "He might be afraid that talking about it will go badly," Blazina says. He may also fear that the reason you're not in the mood as often as he'd like is that his skills in the bedroom are less than mind-blowing.

What you should do
If he's always the one to initiate sex and you're often batting him away, you need to change course. Since research has shown that a satisfying sex life is connected to long-term stability, it's important to try to find middle ground — be the one to get things started once in a while and respond to his advances a little more often. "Your desire levels are not always going to be equal, but you need to be reasonably compatible," Blazina says. "Otherwise, those little moments of rejection grow into a sense of deep separation."

What he's hiding: He flirts with someone he works with
Two-thirds of Americans report that their workplaces are full of flirtations, says Janet Lever, Ph.D., a sociologist at California State University, Los Angeles. Experts say it's only natural for work crushes to spring up: "Our coworkers are prime targets," Lever says, "because the office is where we spend so much of our time."

She's out there. What you should know about the other woman.

What you should do
Overwhelmingly, workplace infatuations are innocent, not serious: "In my research, only 9 percent of flirtations led to someone leaving his or her partner," Lever says. Signs you have something to worry about: he starts paying more attention to his appearance; your sex life suffers; he mentions one colleague's name more than others'; he's suddenly working late a lot. If you don't spot these red flags, it's safe to assume the threat is minimal.

What he's hiding: He's fantasized about a guy — and maybe acted on it
According to McCarthy's research, this is more typical than you might guess. "The fourth most common sexual fantasy among straight men is sex with another male, especially receiving oral sex from a guy," McCarthy says. But the great majority of men do not act on the fantasy.

What you should do
Stay calm, and don't jump to conclusions. "The majority of males with this fantasy are not gay or bisexual," McCarthy says. "What makes a fantasy erotic is that it's different from the reality of your sexual life." Even if you do find out he's been with another man in the past, there's probably no reason to panic. "Some men have done it, either as part of a threesome or alone," Kerner says. "If it was a one-time thing, chalk it up to experimentation." However, if you find a stash of gay porn or he's constantly pushing for a three-way with another man, you need to talk to him honestly about his sexual orientation.

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