Redbook
Updated: December 28, 2012 1:15 PM
The Real Reasons Men Shut Down

Chalk up throwing his pants on the floor, screaming at the quarterback like a bad pass is a personal insult, and never remembering to buy milk to the fact that he's a guy. What we can't understand is how to get him to talk when you most need him. So we asked real men and the experts to help us understand what's really going on inside when the lines of communication go radio silent



His feelings matter, too (© Getty Images)
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  • His feelings matter, too (© Getty Images)
  • Give it to him point-blank (© Getty Images)
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  • A little praise goes a long way (© Getty Images)
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His feelings matter, too
"Our feelings are just as important as your feelings. We shut down if we don't feel like we matter or that your agenda is more important than ours." — Chris, 38, Rochester, NY

Get him to open up: "Feelings mean different things to each of the sexes. Guys often feel by doing, women by saying," says Dr. Pollack. "It's a matter of translating one language into the other. Try saying, 'I'm really sorry. I know that your feelings are important, but I'm not clear what they are. Can you help me understand?'"

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