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Updated: June 5, 2012 12:45 PM | By TRACEY COX
Top 12 Myths About Cheating

Myth #6: You can affair-proof your relationship



Myth #6: You can affair-proof your relationship
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Myth #6: You can affair-proof your relationship
You can lower the chances of an affair in your relationship, but there are never any guarantees. The next best thing? Choose the right partner. Choosing the right person is more important than keeping them happy once you've got them because things like morals, values systems and family backgrounds are much stronger influences on whether someone will cheat (or not).

83Comments
Jun 7, 2012 6:52AM
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OK! Why are people taking advice from a MSN stories. People cheat that is the fact. People fall in and out of LOVE. Most people today get married for all the wrong reasons. Most people think that money in a long term relationship is key or stability. When the relationships that last the test of time are built on love and friendship. If you ask the people who cheat on each other, if they got married for money or love they mostly got married because of the stabilty, and I have seen that these are the people that are more likely to cheat. The people that married there best friend or there relationship was built all about love, more than likely will not cheat on there other half. Life has it's ups and downs, If more people tried to work out the differences you wouldn't see as many people breaking up or cheating. I guess it's easyier in some peoples eyes to cheat or to run when times get tough. I have been married for 10 years. I have had the chance a few times, but I would not take sex, over love, friendship. Most of the people that do cheat, are missing something from their lives. Most of the time people need to look in the mirror when a relationship is not working, everything is a 2 ways street.

 

Thanks and have a great positive day,

Cecil Howell

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I have one question: If two people are in a relationship why must they cheat ??

If ones partner finds out their partner is cheating there's a pretty good chance that relationship is over at least it would be if I caught my partner cheating

Cheating in a relationship is BETRAYAL there's no other word for it.

Due unto to your LOVER as you'd have done to YOU PLAIN & SIMPLE

Jun 7, 2012 8:20AM
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Marriage is alot of work in away, but if your gonna or thinking about cheating GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP YOUR IN.....if you are doing this then you havent got what it takes to be in the marriage.  You should sit down and think is it worth the hassel to have an affair he/she will find out no matter what or when and your screwed and if you have kids together your even more screwed and you just wrecked their lives. So REALLY is it worth ALL the problems and hassel? NO its not plus you could get a std and pass it on and that is not fair to your life partner..."THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE TILL YOU GET THERE".
Jun 7, 2012 2:20PM
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Roccoknows.  Are you for real ?  I sincerely hope your wife finds a real man.  One who knows what he has at home is all he needs.    Wish you luch tonight ?  I only wish your wife knows who her real friends are.

Jun 7, 2012 5:25PM
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You say that it may be better to hide an affair for the sake of maintaining trust in a relationship? I say you fundamentally misunderstand the concept of trust, and I pity you for it.
Jun 7, 2012 1:54PM
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Rocco, me thinks you protest to strongly. Sounds like a guilty man overjustifying the fact that he doesn't have enough control over himself to keep him from hopping into bed with every woman he comes across. You think you are living the perfect life, but if your wife catches you, or if a jealous boyfriend/husband finds out, then what? Your great life will be over, and then the only thing left for you will be appearing on the Maury Povich show. You can't possibly sleep with that many women and expect that all of them will never talk about it. You play the odds like that, and eventually, you will get found out.
Jun 7, 2012 3:37PM
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"True, it will lift the guilt off your shoulders. But it will plonk a whole heap of pain on your partner's. You made the mistake, now deal with the consequences."

This is nonsense; part of dealing with the consequences is coming clean with your partner. You do not get to choose your consequences, under the facade of protecting your partner. You don't get to make that choice for them, and anything less is cowardly. If protecting their weak emotional condition is your concern, don't have an affair in the first place. A false confidence and trust does no-one any good.

What an idiotic statement that telling your partner will shake their foundation of trust, and make it difficult to build what trust in people they already have; if you cheated, then their trust is misplaced and unfounded, and they should be more guarded, clearly their concerns are warranted.  The advice seen here is confess in anticipation of being caught, to save face, and come off as slightly more caring...this is manipulative garbage; an addendum to the act of confessing that is created by a cheater who is defending their choice to hide their actions out of cowardice.

The one and only marginally more acceptable exception is to leave your spouse if choosing not tell them. You are not entitled to remain in a relationship under false pretenses, after having betrayed your partner in such a way, and not tell them. Get your "cake", and then eat theirs too...I don't think so.
Jun 7, 2012 7:30AM
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I think the fact, and it is a fact, that a lot of men can separate love and sex is a red flag, not a normality. What about the woman he's "having fun" with? He justifies the hurt he places in her life by saying she got what she deserved by having sex with a married man, but he is the married one!

Men and women are not so different, but I think in our society men (not all men of course) validate much more than they should.

Marriages fail because people stop being kind and loving to each other.

Jun 7, 2012 3:12AM
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"So she's often seeking a potential soul mate; he's just having fun.".......... Umm ok, so you're basically saying it's ok for men to cheat because it's all in fun and women are overly dramatic by trying to turn it into 'soul mates' LOL
Jun 7, 2012 12:36PM
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Lets get away from the gender issue for a moment, people! all people who cheat do so because of  one reason.

Relationships are disposable, like everything else in our modern world you can dispose of one and get another quickly.

We see evidence of this with dating sites, divorce rates, and swingers clubs.

Our moral standards have become weak and get weaker with every generation.

The blame is our own, we were raised to have every luxury that our parents didnt have, and in turn we raise our children the same.

It is just a matter of time before we breed ourselves into oblivion, this is tragic but unstoppable, we dont see the damage were doing to the human race because we see it as progress

Jun 7, 2012 6:19PM
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Well, it takes two to tango. More men than women who cheat? Does that mean the women that cheat, cheat more often and with more men?
Jun 7, 2012 6:48AM
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We come into this world alone and we leave alone. It is how we choose to walk along the way that is important. This crap is what society places on us and we allow it. Most of the time it is not about sex but our need for friendships, I think that at a certain age we can all make decisions for ourselves and live with the consequences. Remember we cannot change others only ourselves. Live, Love and be Happy.

Jun 7, 2012 4:00PM
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*I couldn't tell if this posted, and I want to make sure Rocco doesn't miss it, sorry if this is a double post*

Rocco, to provide a little perspective, consider the angst that you feel at the thought of some one else being with your partner, and now imagine that multiplied many times, with much more betrayal, and the anguish of her mothering another mans child; and how this would affect the nature of your relationship in every aspect. Not only is this what you are potentially enabling others to do, but it could very well happen to you.

More than that, this is the potential pain you are causing your partner. The significance of this is all relative to the individuals values, and so much of that might be lost on you, but you did express an unease with the idea of your lady being with some one else, all I am saying is, explore that; you may even discover a new outlook and appreciation for yourself beyond the immediate gratification and bragging rights that you hold at such value.

Sex might seem to be of greater priority now, but there may come a time when the idea of your child being claimed by another man will eat at the very fibre of your being. As  a father of the most amazing daughter I could ask for, I don't even want to fathom the possibility that she isn't mine, or that she is, and was being raised by another man. Because I have been given the opportunity to appreciate life from the perspective of a father, it has given me a far better understanding of what is truly of value, and I hope one day soon you can grasp the gravity of what it is you just said, before you miss the most meaningful opportunity your life will ever offer you.

Cheers mate, good luck to you.
Jun 7, 2012 10:40AM
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Cheating is stupid if you wanna bang someone else end it with the person your with i don't what situation your in .No you don't love your partner if you cheat that's BS if you had half a brain you would know how much it would hurt them and unless your a monster no one would set out to hurt someone they love i don't care who it is.I also hate how they keep saying men do it out of nature ect unless all men are complete morons which there not im pretty sure they have emotions and can think for them selves woman cheat because like i said she doesn't love you anymore break it of get a divorce there is no justification for cheating everyone needs to use their brain keep their cloths on and stop spreading stds and unwanted pregnancies.P.S i have never been cheated on and am with the most wonderful man in the world this subject just bothers me im not mad or anything lol
Jun 7, 2012 10:54AM
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Is it possible that people cheat more these days because that;s all you see in movies and tv shows? Even in kids shows!! This makes me sick, my wife has cheated b4,we seperated for a period of time to see if we could work it out, and we did and now have a happy family. At times I still struggle with the thought but over time the thought goes to the back of your head, but beware its always there!!

We sought help when we got back together and they told her I will never trust her 100% again and she accepts that and we made agreements to the term of our relationship that suit us both to prevent it from happening again, we comprimise on Ex.- going out seperately ,we make sure we're home at an agreed time, and we don't go drinking unless we;re together. This may sound bad but it works for us! comprimise is the operative word in a relationship that has had troubles or not. Forgiving is the easy part, forgeting will never happen. It will come up but you talk and get reasurance from eachother that this is where we want to be, not need to be. Kids aren't stupid, something happens and you're not happy split and work it out or stay out but make damn sure the kids know you love them and break-ups are not their fault!!

Jun 7, 2012 12:03PM
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Is it just me ," Men cheat more than women"- Who are they cheating with?? Arent both parties guilty

equally? unless the other had no idea...  presumptious....

Jun 7, 2012 10:50AM
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I personally think people think that the grass is greener on the other side and eventually find out that love is right under their noses they just have to work at it a little to find it.

Jun 7, 2012 10:41PM
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Rocco, your a ****, and the fact that you claim to be so proud of sleeping with over 700 women and your married, makes you a bigger ****. Your bed may be full but towards the end of your life you are going to find yourself to be one empty shell of a man. Good luck with that.
Jun 7, 2012 1:17PM
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I feel that any man or women will cheat on there partener if they knew they can get away with it,this doesn t mean that your partener dosen t love you it only means they ve been given the oppertunity to get away with it.  In any relationship there is alot of signs you have to watch for your partener spending too much time at the office when work is over and arrives home quite late on a frequent basis,on the cell phone for hours in another room for privacy, on the computer and covers what they are typing when you walk into the room, this shows that they are up to no good. Your partener should know that if they cheat then the marriage is over, maybe they will think twice. Once you let your partener gets away with cheating once then that opens the door to continue. I Know because my partener cheated on me only once and that was it.
Jun 7, 2012 8:01AM
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Well, I stopped reading after Myth #1. Those 56% of men are lying and deluding themselves that their marraiges are happy. If they were happy they wouldn't cheat. They may be happy that they think they can get away with cheating though.

 

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