If she has any nerves - particularly if this is your first time together - when she sees you naked she may feel in need of some big, affectionate cuddles. Take your time before you get into serious foreplay and make sure your foreplay includes some good, loving affection. A new boyfriend standing there big-and-in-the-buff and who wants to jump straight into a quickie can be daunting for some women.
- What men do - and don't - notice about the female body
- Lifestyle TV: He said, she said: Off-limits sex fetishes
- How to be a better kisser
I think COSMO has covered this tired topic at least one thousand times. Frankly, most men have a favoite "bit" of a woman. Although my wife is petite, ex girlfriends have been all sizes including "voluptuous", slender and all manner of ethnic backgrounds. There was something about each and every one of them that was desirable. I have dated all types, some according to friends of mine, that were more or less beautiful than the others that they had met. As trite as it may sound, there is a lot more to the whole package, and humor and intellect go miles to undoing an oversized or supposed blemish or something or another. One of the womenm that I fell hardest for in years past, by was so far off the scale in terms of being my type, but her thoughtful sweet nature, made me absolutley fall in love with her. Before you get any ideas, yes indeed, I love a fine derriere in a pair of yoga pants, a subtle peek at some errant cleavege, or a fit girl in a swimsuit as much as the next man. However, the next morning, or in my case for the nine years of my marriage, a woman who is thoughtful, intelligent, listens to my shitty jokes and is a fine mother that respects herself, is the whole package for me.
As long as we are tossing out ideas by the way, there is not much in the way of some trashy lingerie and apair of seven inch heels can't alleviate. I'm just saying.
Not because I'm trying to over-analyze or judge by appearance,
simply because I'm nervous, and when women are nervous, a lot of the time their mind goes a little crazy with analytical thoughts... But the far more prominent thought on my mind than any of these other things is just how bad/good he thinks I am, if he thinks I look beautiful/ugly... Women I think are usually more self critical and self conscious than anything else... But seriously, men, make sure you smell good... That is KEY.
Confidence, too... Be confident, but make sure you don't come across as obnoxious.
That's the worst.
So I let myself get bored and decided I'll add my two cents. I agree with a few people on here and thoroughly disagree with others. I am an average young woman. I'm not a stick and I go through times when my "spare tire" starts to show and times when I'm "skinny"(in brackets cause in all reality I'd look deathly ill if I was 120lbs). Realistic-99 you're comment about how superficial people are now-a-days and how "the lucky good-looking people would not accept the "spare tires" is complete bullox. I know I'm beautiful, even with a bit of excess weight, big is beautiful, slim is beautiful it's not about the "spare tire." You say they wouldn't date men/women with spare tires and maybe that's your experience and since it is yours, it's fair in your eyes but judging everyone because you've had a bad experience is what's not fair. I have dated the bigger, hairier guys, I've dated the scrauny slender built guys and I've dated the hunky gym fanatic type. In all fairness it's about the total package and chemistry. Not the "perfect" body.
In my opinion what we have to realize is the reason we are so insecure about our bodies is because in our head we've created that image of what beautiful is to us. Everyone has something they wish they could change or get rid of whether they are 300lbs or 100lbs. We are human and subject to constantly critize because of the environment we live in.
I don't know you Realistic-99 but I'm sure you are beautiful and are an amazing person. Embrace who and what you are no matter if you have a spare tire, it ultimately starts with you. Once you believe you're beautiful(truly believe) no matter what you look like that will radiate and naturally people will be drawn to you. It's confidence in a person that makes them beautiful.
Gees, these comments about how important looks are just makes me sad. I do have to agree that many, many people out there seem overly obsessed with the perfect body for themselves or their partners. Personally, these are also the type of people I wouldn't waste my time on. A hot partner is great for having arm candy at events but I would hope there's more there to connect with when the couple is alone. You can't talk about how hot you are forever (right?). But I'm also the type that would choose the comic book geek over the fitness buff every time so I know my views are in the minority. That being said, I found this article interesting and right on the mark, at least for myself.
Is it crap? Maybe a little but it's not supposed to be couples therapy or something to base your life on either.