If she has any nerves - particularly if this is your first time together - when she sees you naked she may feel in need of some big, affectionate cuddles. Take your time before you get into serious foreplay and make sure your foreplay includes some good, loving affection. A new boyfriend standing there big-and-in-the-buff and who wants to jump straight into a quickie can be daunting for some women.
27Comments
Dec 1, 2011 12:50PM
Dec 1, 2011 9:27AM
Guys almost always care if the woman is fat. Or chubby even. Not their fault most of the time. Society has beaten it into our heads of what should be considered attractive, when we should really be seeking out what is healthy. I'm not an activist, but does anybody else notice how short relationships last now? Because people are more focused on looks, rather than how well they connect with somebody.
Dec 1, 2011 4:23PM
Dec 1, 2011 8:32PM
I think COSMO has covered this tired topic at least one thousand times. Frankly, most men have a favoite "bit" of a woman. Although my wife is petite, ex girlfriends have been all sizes including "voluptuous", slender and all manner of ethnic backgrounds. There was something about each and every one of them that was desirable. I have dated all types, some according to friends of mine, that were more or less beautiful than the others that they had met. As trite as it may sound, there is a lot more to the whole package, and humor and intellect go miles to undoing an oversized or supposed blemish or something or another. One of the womenm that I fell hardest for in years past, by was so far off the scale in terms of being my type, but her thoughtful sweet nature, made me absolutley fall in love with her. Before you get any ideas, yes indeed, I love a fine derriere in a pair of yoga pants, a subtle peek at some errant cleavege, or a fit girl in a swimsuit as much as the next man. However, the next morning, or in my case for the nine years of my marriage, a woman who is thoughtful, intelligent, listens to my shitty jokes and is a fine mother that respects herself, is the whole package for me.
As long as we are tossing out ideas by the way, there is not much in the way of some trashy lingerie and apair of seven inch heels can't alleviate. I'm just saying.
Dec 1, 2011 8:51PM
I've found women to be everybit as shollow in what they want in a man. Most I've seen look at the payday, then looks, followed by his endowment. They will try to have you believe that a sense of humor is the most important thing but that is B.S. in the big picture. I have seen alot of women with attractive good looking guys with the personality of a mud fence all the while treating her like crap. So lets just agree we are all shallow beings without including the gender card.
Dec 1, 2011 12:59PM
Personally, I agree with almost everything in this article...
Not because I'm trying to over-analyze or judge by appearance,
simply because I'm nervous, and when women are nervous, a lot of the time their mind goes a little crazy with analytical thoughts... But the far more prominent thought on my mind than any of these other things is just how bad/good he thinks I am, if he thinks I look beautiful/ugly... Women I think are usually more self critical and self conscious than anything else... But seriously, men, make sure you smell good... That is KEY.
Confidence, too... Be confident, but make sure you don't come across as obnoxious.
That's the worst.
Not because I'm trying to over-analyze or judge by appearance,
simply because I'm nervous, and when women are nervous, a lot of the time their mind goes a little crazy with analytical thoughts... But the far more prominent thought on my mind than any of these other things is just how bad/good he thinks I am, if he thinks I look beautiful/ugly... Women I think are usually more self critical and self conscious than anything else... But seriously, men, make sure you smell good... That is KEY.
Confidence, too... Be confident, but make sure you don't come across as obnoxious.
That's the worst.
Dec 1, 2011 6:47PM
So I let myself get bored and decided I'll add my two cents. I agree with a few people on here and thoroughly disagree with others. I am an average young woman. I'm not a stick and I go through times when my "spare tire" starts to show and times when I'm "skinny"(in brackets cause in all reality I'd look deathly ill if I was 120lbs). Realistic-99 you're comment about how superficial people are now-a-days and how "the lucky good-looking people would not accept the "spare tires" is complete bullox. I know I'm beautiful, even with a bit of excess weight, big is beautiful, slim is beautiful it's not about the "spare tire." You say they wouldn't date men/women with spare tires and maybe that's your experience and since it is yours, it's fair in your eyes but judging everyone because you've had a bad experience is what's not fair. I have dated the bigger, hairier guys, I've dated the scrauny slender built guys and I've dated the hunky gym fanatic type. In all fairness it's about the total package and chemistry. Not the "perfect" body.
In my opinion what we have to realize is the reason we are so insecure about our bodies is because in our head we've created that image of what beautiful is to us. Everyone has something they wish they could change or get rid of whether they are 300lbs or 100lbs. We are human and subject to constantly critize because of the environment we live in.
I don't know you Realistic-99 but I'm sure you are beautiful and are an amazing person. Embrace who and what you are no matter if you have a spare tire, it ultimately starts with you. Once you believe you're beautiful(truly believe) no matter what you look like that will radiate and naturally people will be drawn to you. It's confidence in a person that makes them beautiful.
Dec 1, 2011 4:57PM
Dec 1, 2011 10:08AM
Gees, these comments about how important looks are just makes me sad. I do have to agree that many, many people out there seem overly obsessed with the perfect body for themselves or their partners. Personally, these are also the type of people I wouldn't waste my time on. A hot partner is great for having arm candy at events but I would hope there's more there to connect with when the couple is alone. You can't talk about how hot you are forever (right?). But I'm also the type that would choose the comic book geek over the fitness buff every time so I know my views are in the minority. That being said, I found this article interesting and right on the mark, at least for myself.
Dec 1, 2011 6:01PM
well you know it isn't all about looks' but yes looks help of course but once you get to know that person for who she is and what she has to offer from her inner beauty trust me guys you see past any little over weight issues or anything else for that matter inner beauty is what really matters
Dec 1, 2011 9:31AM
Okay, Lets all be realistic. I have been in the dating world for a long time, and trust me when I say this, from some serious experience. Women and Men too, are very SUPERFICIAL now a days. Its all about the looks, and how high or low your standards are Individually. So none of the lucky and good looking women and men out there are going to accept that spare tire.....
Dec 1, 2011 6:18AM
Dec 1, 2011 8:24PM
well well ... the only thing which should really matter is the love and understanding you both share not the looks because looks will eventually fade away no one's perfect nor will anyone remain the same. so look for true love someone who will stand by you no matter what ;) not someone who will be with you till your beautiful or handsome :P
Dec 1, 2011 11:01AM
Dec 1, 2011 7:49AM
Dec 1, 2011 8:37PM
wow... funny how this is under love and relationships... this in my opion has ABSOLUTLY..nothing to do with love and relationships... im isck of seeing this crap on msn... whoever writes these clearly needs to fall in love or find someone.. abvi there not or they wouldnt write this... our world today is so constricted by the media and what they say... sad really.
Dec 1, 2011 4:29PM
Dec 5, 2011 11:00PM
If a man and a woman have gotten as far as getting undressed it is safe to say that there is some chemistry there! Woman DO (it's the first thing I notice) check out the package and some are more pleasing on the eyes than others. Is there a desired size and shape...yes. Do woman care about a bit of a spare tire. No, as long as it isn't too big. A nice set of shoulders, arms, hard chest, and ass are great!!!!! A sense of humor, intelligence, and kindness is desirable in a man. AND, it is nice if you smell great, too.
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